Sergeant Snookers of the Z. “P’leece.”

Published:
10 March 2025
Original:
1 July 1912

Panama Roughneck Ballads. By John Hall. 1912

'Twas Sergeant Snookers of the Z. "P'leece."
"Wake-up an' sign yer name!
Yer drunk, ye lout! Ye broke th' peace!
Ye put th' force to shame!"

"Ye ain't respectable; ye insolent man!
It's an awful example ye set.
Ye always get 'soused' whenever ye can.
I'll tie a 'can' to ye yet."

"These are th' charges ye'll have to face:
Blind drunk an' off your beat.
Don't answer me back; ye've gone th' pace;
Ye can't stand on yer feet."

"Look at me; I'm a self-made man;
When I was only a 'cop,'
It was my ambition, when I began,
To, somehow, reach th' top."

"I pride myself that I know th' law,
An th' regulations, too.
My record is clean without a flaw;
C'n I say th' same of you?"

The "copper" yawned; he was feeling "sore";
"Excuse me, sor," he said,
"Th' tale yez tell I've heard oft before;
Yez c'n go an soak yer head!"

"Yez son-av-a-this, and yez son-av-a-that!
'Beat it 'while yez ca-a-n!
Out uv me sight, ye blitherin gnat,
Or oi'll show yez who's th' ma-a-n!"

'Twas Sergeant Snookers, of the Z. "P'leece,"
A bit of a man, for that.
His rule was iron, and he'd won renown.
He swallowed his rage and spat.

The "buck" was private Terence O'Shay,
Who'd rather fight than eat.
He'd fight his fight or say his say,
As he proudly walked his beat."

"I'll can ye now, ye drunken bum!"
The outraged sergeant cried,
"Yer soaked with rotten beer an' rum!"
O'Shay turned over and sighed.

The charges went in, and the 'can' came out;
Terence O'Shay was pleased.
"'Twas th' on y way to bring it about;
At last oi've been released."

Thus spake Terence, the foxy "Mick,"
As he swiftly packed his trunk,
"'Twas, oi know, a low-down thrick
To make him think me dhrunk."

'Twas Sergeant Snookers, of the Z. "P'leece,"
Self-made and hard to beat.
He made himself, but the "bucks" agreed
The job was not complete.